Fate- make your own

I really think my answer to this would have to be that gorgeous scene from Love Actually with Mark holding the signs out to Juliet. It manages to make me tear up and get gossebumps every time and it leaves me with this feeling in the pit of my stomach that I can't really describe; its like I'm on top of the world and completely heartbroken all at the same time. I think what I love most about this scene is that it just leaves me with this feeling of absolute hope that someday someone will love me that much.

I hope that you have all realised that I am the most unreliable poster of things in the world. Oh well, I guess that is just who I am- I believe if I ever wrote a book it would take my years and years. Shall I fill you in on what is happening

1. My cousin's wife is going to have a baby in less than a month!!!!!!! Ah I'm so excited to have another baby in the family because the youngest are 6 now (my gorgeous, lovely twins who I love to death) and I really can't remember them as babies so this is very exciting. Have I mentioned I love babies yet? I got to feel the baby kick the other day and I have to say it was the most amazing feeling in the world and I couldn't stop smiling the whole day.

2. I saw Guys and Dolls again (yes it was my third time but who is counting) and it was amazing!!!!! It just seems to give me goosebumps and butterflies and I really do think Ian Stenlake and Lisa McCune have the most amazing chemistry in it. Ian's solo in My Time of Day made me cry and I love the Havana scene so so much. May I also take the chance to gush about how wonderful Marina Prior was- she just makes me laugh and I love her character to bits. May I also say that going to the stage door after and meeting them all was lovely. Lisa, Marina and Magda seem to be the most down to earth people and actually care about what you have to say even though they looked like they were so tired they could have fallen asleep on the spot. Oh and Ian Stenlake is gorgeous but I guess that goes without saying......

3.  The formal is coming up in July- the 25th actually. I know its a winter formal and thats weird because no one has a winter formal especially not in Canberra (I mean the hole of the world) because we are all going to freeze our tits off but never mind. It shall be fun I am thinking. I am to admit that I'm slightly over the whole 'OMG who are you taking to the formal thing?' but I guess that is all part of the experience.

4. Sea Patrol 3 starts in exactly 9 days and I have to say I am very excited!!!!! I can't wait to see the sexy boat that is the Hammersley back on my TV screen.

5. I do really want to go to the Whitlams concert in December (I think) I'll have to see if thy parentals are in a good mood

Ah have to run.....I shall finish at a later date
Goodbye lovers

(I really don't know why I write this as if other people read this........I'm pretty sure no one does)

Ah, LJ my old friend. How long has it been? Ages I'm thinking but this is the new me- the me that will aspire to use you more often and to actually write some stuff and to get back in touch with whichever side of the brain is the creative one. (I think it's left)

Well, I think it is good and proper that I fill you in on my life and lots of tiny, boring details.

Where to start? Hmm well at the moment my life seems to be filled with nothing more than rowing, school and more school. Ah rowing is tiring and I'm a shocking rower if truth be told but its going to be over soon and then I'll miss it just like I always do when its the off-season. We've been training like crazy the past couple of weeks and we are sure to for the next few weeks from now. Head of the River is on the 29th and we want to win and plus I'm pretty sure if we do all the training and early morning and not having the time to have a social life will be worth it.

School is kind of boring at the moment, everyday seems to be the same and I hate that but as usual my lovely friends seem to make things interesting even if its making bad jokes all the time. Its my bestie since yr 3's b'day tomorrow which is very exciting and we are doing the whole movie/lunch thing which will be nice. I quite like that Canberra has a public holiday tomorrow even if the city still remains to be the biggest hole ever- both literally and socially.

My life still remains to have a few areas of drama. One revolving around a certain girl who no one likes who really really can't take a hint and who spreads lies and rumours and bitches about my friends to anyone that will listen to get attention because she is depserate for it all the time. (terrible grammar there- sorry everyone) However, I won't go into details because I don't like talking about her all that much because it makes me rather unhappy and angry.

I also have a boy who I worry about a lot, he is a very good friend of mine but he has depression quite badly and tried to end his life at the end of last year. Deep stuff here people. He is a rather messed up, troubled child and it makes me sad because he used to be such a happy, worry-free kind of person. He's starting to work through his problems but I seem to have spend many a late night texting him when he is upset and he still cries himself to sleep a lot.

Wow I seem to have made this depressing. I think I shall list a few things I hope to get from this year and then I shall sign off and get some sleep with promises to return soon with some type of substance.

1. To be vice house captain at the end to the year
2. To get straight As just so I can say I got them
3. To write a lot more
4. To make more time for friends and family
5. To focus more
6. To be happy and healthy at the end of the year
7. To create a new, weird and very crazy food combo as wonderful as hot chips and ice-cream (trust me is the best thing ever!!!!) Any suggestions welcome....
8. To laugh as much as possible
9. To stress less about little things

That seems to be all for the moment
Goodnight
xoxo

So, my life. Well it's a complete mess. I'm so confused about everything, and I'm overworked and stressed and sleep deprived.

School is a complete bitch atm. I'm sorry but there is just no other way to put it. I have assessment right up until the last day which really sucks. Holidays seem so long away even though its only a week and a half. I can't wait to sleep in and be lazy and ah the bliss of doing absolutely nothing for a whole entire day and not getting out of my pjs a whole entire day. I can only dream about that atm. I hate the fact that my school makes us take religion. Firstly, I'm kinda religious but not really- I like the idea of religion like the values and stuff but I'm not a full on out there believer. Kind of on the fence, not really sure where I stand. But what I have to say annoys me the most about religion is that we have not one decent teacher. They all know nothing. So we're learning about the reformation (which I learnt about in history last term) and my stupid religion teacher is teaching to wrong and telling the whole class the wrong things. Sooooo annoying. I keep correcting him and he keeps saying he is right even though its plainly obvious that he has no idea what he is blabbing on about most of the time. I also have IT assessment, which is driving me crazy. A girl can only wait for a computer to work for so long before she becomes majorily pissed and that was me like 2 weeks ago.

Then my best friend is going overseas in like a week and hes away for like 3 weeks then comes back for a day and then goes on outward bound for 10 days. I'm going to miss him like crazy. So we were friends and then we went out for like three weeks before he broke it off. It's complicated kinda. It really hurt when we broke up- probs coz I liked him more than he liked me but I'm over it now. Mostly, I'm still kinda healing but a girl has every right to take her time with these things. Anyway, hes like the person I can pretty much tell anything to, like the sweetest guy ever and I hope that nothing major happens while hes away because then I won't have anyone to have late night dnms with.

I'm soooo stressed about what is going on at school. I hate having this much work. Means that as much as I would love to write I just can't- well not if I want it to be good and that annoys me. I mean the last piece I wrote was after my dads friend died and I was all cut up. Major angst there peoples. Gosh that was a crappy time, you can tell that shes really cut up about it still but I guess you would be. I mean he died right in front of her while he was making dinner. Massive heart attack. Sooooooo sad.

Oh and I have to think about buying a formal dress too. That shall be fun. I'm thinking royal blue or purple considering how pale I am. I'm sooo pasty its not funny.

Pretty sure this whole thing was me being a drama queen and complaining about everything. But I feel better now- it's better to let all the crap out rather than let it stir.

Rant over

Ok seriously people it sucks to be a teenage girl. Like seriously. I'm sitting here crying my little eyes out at a guys and dolls video, seriously what is wrong with me? Its just so beautiful and makes me have this warm and fuzzy feeling that kinda starts in my tummy and spreads everywhere. But seriously guys and dolls music, I mean if it was Ian Stenlake and Lisa McCune (my idols) singing then yeah I'd understand because when I saw the show I was like sitting there crying and Ian Stenlake just made me melt. I was like a puddle in my seat, he just has the most amazing voice, and that smile. ah..... and Lisa shes just the cutest little button ever, and I love her voice and her acting and ah. I'll stop now. 

Ah being a teenage girl sucks, I'm like happy one second and the next I'm like the sad puddle and then I have school which is like good but then you have bitchy teachers, most of whom are going through the menopause mood swings and you never know if they're going to be nice or mean. Theres also the problem of the whole friend situation, oh and guys did I mention them. 

Ok I'll stop now. Excuse my random rantings, I'm sick atm have this random infection so if anyone asks thats my excuse.

Signing off

xoxox 

Its a Sea Patrol fic post ep 25 (Friends Close; Enemies Closer) Its a fluffy Mike/Kate piece with lyrics from the ever talented Missy Higgins.

( Read it here..... )

Well my first post to this lovely place which from now on shall be the home for me to express all my procrastinations and musings on this little life of mine.  What can I say, I've finally been bothered to create myself a journal after having been considering it for a while, one could go as far to say that thats personality problem I have- I seem to mull over things for ages, think about every single tiny detail before I make a decision. I'm not really one for acting on impluses, although I'm trying to fix that. I'm trying to be more implusive- which I think is kinda weird considering most people want to be able to think things through more. 

Oh can I take the chance here to offer everyone that reads a very imporant message

I apolgise for all my terrible punctuation and spelling in all posts/fics.

K now thats over with I'm going to go and post all my little sp fics here because I feel like it. Stay tuned for more musings from me.